Mentoring - by Lim Chong Wei
Recently, some of the pastoral staff attended a seminar on mentoring by John Mallison. He gave interesting perspectives on what mentoring is and I would like to take this opportunity to share some of the things I have learnt.
The introduction to this seminar was what really struck me—the possibility of burnout amongst church leaders, especially clergymen, is as high as any layperson, if not higher. Mallison’s statement was based on a National Church Life Survey conducted in Australia and through it discovers useful pointers on how to avoid burnout.
"Overall, a leader’s personal circumstances make a difference. To help reduce the risk of burnout, leaders can:
- Look after their physical health, eat well and make time for regular exercise.
- Develop and maintain strong, healthy relationships
- Nurture and enjoy family relationships with appropriate boundaries
- Nurture their faith and relationship with God”
This reminded me of the importance of support frameworks, especially when I’m serving ‘full-time’ (I do believe that all of us, followers of Jesus Christ, are serving full-time in different capacity). There is a real need of maintaining active, open relationships with God and others. This possibility of burnout emphasizes the need for mentoring in faith community.
Mentoring
is best personified through the life of Paul. The believer community then
regarded Saul (Paul) suspiciously when he was converted. But Barnabas saw the
potential goodness in him and chose to encourage and nurture him. Over time,
when Paul grew in faith, this friendship became mutually supportive. They went
on mission trips together and helped each other through many trials. Later, Paul
began to nurture Timothy whom he regarded as like a son.
This example lays
down the different level of mentoring that can exist. The first level is the
traditional understanding of having someone who is more mature and experienced
to lead and guide. The action word would be ‘Receiving’. The second level
involves peer or co-mentoring. This is applicable for people who are going
through similar stages of spiritual growth or phase in life. Hence there is
mutual commitment to share and support. The action word here is ‘Sharing’.
The third level involves making a choice to nurture someone else and the action
word would be ‘Giving’.
I believe many of us
would have some semblance of the relationships that are mentioned above. The
only probable difference is the element of intentional, active action to
receive, to share, and to give. Both parties at each level have to make that
choice to work at it. Note that the lines connecting both parties are double
arrowed. This depicts the fact that, more often than not, both persons benefit
from such a commitment.
Another point was
that mentoring opportunities abound in life. All of us go through various life
stages and will benefit from having someone to help us - during various stage of
studies, transition to work, newly weds etc. It then dawned on me that mentors
need not be for life (huge commitment by any measure) but could be ‘short’
commitments for a certain life stage. This means that expectations of each other
need to be clearly made known from the start of a mentoring relationship.
In conclusion, mentoring may be good for everyone. But each person must see the need and then make an effort to begin and maintain a dynamic mentoring lifestyle that involves receiving, sharing and giving.
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